Relationships and Marriages

This going to be the most complicated topic to get into. Trying my best to do it justice but still it can be easily misunderstood. Do not read further if you are unable to digest raw truths and have hard time acknowledging some obvious facts like men are stronger, women are more attractive, men are more assertive while women are more passive, and men are masculine and women are feminine in general etc. Not someone in particular but in general, because a society is shaped by what majority people think and follow. Now to the main topic-

People are struggling with live in relationships and marriages, as society do not totally accepts relationships and often girls and boys have to hide their past relationships to get married or lie to their family regarding their relationships. To understand this social issue, we need to understand some basic type of procreation strategies-

Basics of mating strategies

Natural selection and evolutionary perspective: Males compete with each other, winner males procreates with females and loser male usually runs away or dies. That means only the best genes that are fit for survival are passed on to the next generation and loser male's genes die out. Females are naturally attracted to small percentage of more capable, wealthy and winner males. Females are abandoned once they are old, unattractive and infertile. Natural selection is survival of the fittest and there is a total lack of empathy or compassion. This simple mechanism leads to hypergamy that will make any species stronger, better looking and more intelligent in a longer run. This is how nature works. Constant ruthless competition can be exhausting, but it keeps the society powerful in a long run.

Advantage: Species getting stronger, better looking and more intelligent with every generation.
Disadvantage: There is more suffering and crime in society because of constant ruthless competition in life, as lot of males dying single for being weak or broke. Whereas females not getting stronger and more resourceful males for being ugly and getting abandoned in their old ages.

Marriage and societal perspective: To reduce suffering from constant competition, marriage was invented for safer, stable family structure, reliability and to reduce crimes in society. In this monogamous system, almost all the men get to procreate, which means weak, stupid and ugly people will continue to exist in the society as the genes responsible for it are not dying out. Also, in marriage, women are taken care of even in their older ages. Thus, marriages actually slows down the natural evolution to the point of almost stagnation, as women's freedom to choose their partner is limited or suppressed. We can say that marriage is a convenience for an individual, but it halts the human's biological evolution.

Advantage: Crimes, competition and suffering is lesser. Thus, comparatively stable society.
Disadvantage: Almost no biological evolution and women's freedom is limited or suppressed.

Today, women have all the freedom and rights that they can get, and with this absolute freedom, now there are some concerns in the social stability that need to be addressed. But before that basic understanding of gender based human psychology is important.

Basics of human psychology

Men's psychology: Men's psychology is shaped by men's strength, which is their physical power. Men are usually more aggressive by nature and men directly pursue who they like. Men feel powerful when they acquire what they want while acknowledging their desire honestly. Men are natural leaders. Men act on their desires, which means men's power is tangible. In other words, men will be held accountable for their actions, as actions are visible and measurable.

Women's psychology: Women's psychology is shaped by women's strength, which is their beauty and sexual attraction. Women are usually passive by nature. That means woman instead of focusing on who she likes, women want men to pursue them, so that she can feel valuable and desirable. Women do not acknowledge this and women feel powerful when they are able to attract, control or manipulate someone else to do something that she wanted them to do without acknowledging their own desires honestly. Women are natural liars. Women are passive and want to attract, instead of taking action on their desires themselves. That means women's power is intangible. In other words, women cannot be held accountable for attracting, manipulating or breaking someone's heart, as intentions are invisible and immeasurable but only can be speculated.

We need to acknowledge the fact that all living beings are inherently selfish by birth. Living beings use their power to their advantage and there is nothing wrong about it, as selfishness is necessary to stay alive. But, excessive selfishness is the root of all the crimes and suffering. This criminal minded people can be men or women. Men use brute force and women use manipulation. The only difference in crime between the genders being men are held accountable far more often for violence, harassment and rape, as their physical power is direct and tangible. These criminal men are not able to control their emotions, but rather they are controlled by it. This is the lack of awareness or we can say, it is the darkness which makes them animal like savages. But with the today's increasing security systems, these crimes are easily detectable and punishable. In today's world, most good men are demoralized against physical and sexual violence so much by education system and by society, that most men are afraid to take stand against evil and afraid to even start a conversation.

Now we need to address the main issue, which can be understood in 3 parts-
1. Women and accountability.
2. Rise of Feminism, declining birth rates and impact of Feminism on dating culture.
3. Decline of moral values in society with freedom of women.

1. Based on one's inherent selfish nature and with freedom of women, there is rise in power of excessive selfish women in our society. Women are not, and cannot held accountable for using their beauty to break someone's heart for fun. Women manipulate desperate men to exploit their money and attention. With physical attraction, women use men for validation and keep them running around her like a dog for entertainment purposes while not acknowledging her true intentions herself. Women are natural liars. No one can argue with women to admit her intentions because as per her, she is not the one doing anything, rather she just trying to look nice to feel confident about herself, not to seek attention from others, while also dropping subtle non-verbal hints for men to take action on it, so that women can have clear escape from accountability for the consequences that actually resulted because of men's action. This ambiguous situation is absolutely perfect for women, as it gives her position to keep men in control using her attraction and to play victim card when things go bad while denying any accountability and also no one can blame her just for being attractive. As women's whole game revolves around her reputation, ego and perception of others towards her, she will never accept her true intentions, as it would make her look bad in society and it would take a toll on her reputation and her ego. Thus, women will keep on lying about her true motives while trying to invoke actions from men. Arguing about it will not help, because women are not sleeping, they are pretending to be asleep. You cannot wake her up, women do not want to.

2. Rise of feminism is men's fault. In society where corporate life is glamourized and respected more than the traditional homemaker, forced women to become part of the working class as well. Feminism initially was for women's right to earn living respectfully. Just like men don't want to work for disrespectful boss, traditional women also don't want to live with a man who do not value a homemaker woman. Men failed to value the important things in life and gave respect only to the things that were hard to accomplish. Thus, men are now reaping the consequences of their own actions, as now getting a traditional woman has become hard to accomplish. Also, working class is doubled, wages are now half from what it supposed to be and inflation getting out of hands. Buying a house is expensive more than ever, consequently starting a family became hard. As now women are also busy earning money by constantly working in life, they do not have energy or time to raise another generation. Leading society to lower birth rates than needed replacement level.

This leader women culture created confusion in mating strategy as well. To get respect from this feminist society, women claim that they want to be in a decision making position and do not want to be objectified but in dating, women are secretly attracted to the man who is just pursuing what he wants, leading the way and who can make decisions for her, so that women can feel like desirable object, where women can play their favorite ego boosting 'hard to get' game. Also, she can be her man's follower that would save her from all the decision making stress and the associated accountability. As women being a natural liars, they do not want to acknowledge their hypocrisy and don't want anyone else to highlight it either. Men mostly being logical, and now are accepting women's claim to be a decision maker. Thus, majority of men are now more hesitant to approach women and take women's 'hard to get' no as actual no, to mitigate the risk of legal actions or being called a creep. Thus, it's harder for women to play their 'hard to get' games now a days, that resulted in more unhappy women today. The only fun option that women are left with is the most degraded, narcissist men who just blindly follow what they want, and disregards the effect of their actions on others. As also glamourized in movies, it would boost women's ego to tame those men. That's why women are attracted narcissistic men or criminal minded psychopaths, and this natural selection will lead society to moral decline.

3. Another issue with women freedom is, women specifically choose 'bad boys' to procreate with, because 'bad boys' are controlled by their compulsion. Thus, women have control over bad boys, and women feel powerful about it. Nobody wants to give up their position of power. But women cannot control or manipulate a good aware man, as no aware man will allow himself to be used, disrespected or lied to. Women can only be honest about her feelings towards any good man to get him. By unable to invoke actions, women do not feel powerful with a good man. Women see themselves as a powerless loser if they have to acknowledge their desire, instead of able to attract a man with her beauty. Nobody wants to feel like a loser. Thus, women leave the good men to die out and procreate with bad boys and multiply his genes instead. That would lead society to more bad boys and crimes, while reducing the numbers of good men. That would create further suffering for the people in a long run. Thus, freedom of women resulted in moral decline of the society that we see today. However, this can be changed not by oppressing women, but rather by bringing more awareness to men.

Effect of awareness on individual's psychology

Regardless of gender, with more awareness, people would be able to make better moral judgments, become distant from natural animal like exploitative compulsions and become more empathetic toward others. You can bring light of awareness to someone by holding them accountable or making them aware about their misdeeds. Raising awareness and learning starts with acknowledging one's own flaws. Thus, it clearly means that only men can be work with to raise awareness in the society and to reduce crimes and suffering. In other words, light facilitates brave men to rise above their natural compulsions and cultivate divine qualities like tranquility, forgiveness and compassion etc. for all living beings. Whereas no one can hold women accountable for having selfish intentions, unless the women herself wants to truly understand it. Usually women do not want to acknowledge their flaws, because of two reasons. First, like everyone else women would hate to acknowledge her own flaws. Women are empowered by intangible power, which further facilitates women to be a confident liar. Women can lie their way out of accountability and with the lack of evidence or logical deductions, everyone will be forced to admit women's innocence. That's why women usually remain in darkness, by choice. We don't need to hate women for this. It's nature's design to facilitate evolution, as lying keeps open all the options for women so that she can safely choose the best option for her. In nature, only strategy that works survives, regardless of its moral aspect. Second, women do not want people to be aware of her strategies, as it would take power away from her. That means women thrive when men are not aware, who behave with their natural compulsions and are easy to control. We can say darkness make women more powerful. In other words, women are the force of nature.

Out of context: Although it's irrelevant to the topic, but it should be highlighted that women also show divine qualities after becoming mother. This divinity exists not because of women's higher level of awareness for other living beings, but it exists because mothers are naturally concerned about the survival of their offsprings, and that's why women's divinity is limited to her children only. Again, it's nature's design for survival of the species. Thus, all women can be divine mothers because it's natural, but not all men can be divine fathers. Men have to work against their natural compulsions by keen introspection to acheive divinity, and that is neither natural nor easy.

Solution - Men shape the society, not women: The whole civilization is built by men. All civilizations are, and have been patriarchy. The only power women have is to control others around her by manipulation. But with the rise of internet and social media, every woman's reach is almost worldwide and their power has been increased monumentally. Today's men are enslaved as women can make men to do whatever she want. Men should understand that women are not inherently powerful, it's actually men who empowers them. Women only capitalize on the options that are made available to her by men. Women's power is limited because it's indirect. Previously women's survival was dependent on the degree by which they are desired by men. Thus, we can say women are the men's manifested desire. Women eventually had to be what men desired them to be. That's why women are still more concerned about if men like them or not and consistently wants validation for it, instead of directly pursuing the man that they like. So it's actually men's fault to keep pursuing the woman of a loose character and who disrespects men for fun. Today's men have stooped so low that men can be compared to animals. Social media is the proof. Shaping a society is only men's responsibility. Men also need to keep other men in check by force if need to, as only tiny proportion of men of loose character can destroy society for the whole generation of good men. Just like a small orifice at the bottom of a container will leak away all the fluid, and you cannot blame fluid for it. You fix the container, not the fluid. Similarly, how any woman can monkey branch if there would be no man trying to be her second option? Thus, men collectively need to practice strict self-control and have integrity to follow monogamous relationships, if men want balanced and peaceful society. It's like a dam holding the river. Otherwise, natural selection is going to take over and then all the men should be ready for a long painful show which is just getting started. It would be like peace devouring flood which is barely held on by a cracked dam as of now, especially in the West, because we can see some passport bros already fleeing the country to escape from this upcoming flood. While East is also not very far behind from the moral decline of their own society, which would be a result of blindly following the West.

All the media and internet that are now starting to blame feminism and pointing flaws in women's nature for the condition of the West today, are actually not aware that it is actually men's weakness to control their compulsion, which allowed society to be in this situation. Women are just capitalizing on the options that are made available to them by men, just like water. Water will flow wherever it find its way down, and you can't blame water for it. Similarly, it is the degraded men with no standards that people need to blame. Those degraded men are daily setting new records in a society for how much men should get exploited before he is eligible to get into a relationship. Men today actually forgot their goal in life, which is to seek higher knowledge, wisdom or God for example instead of pursuing the worldly attractions. That's why darkness is taking over. Men need to limit their interaction with disrespectful, indirect and manipulative women, no matter how attractive they are in any regards. Men have more will power to control their natural compulsions. Men are more brave as they can self-reflect and can honestly acknowledge their true intentions without their ego getting in the way. This self-reflection is the first step towards greater awareness, and this ability elevates men above from women morally. Men need to remind themselves that self-control can be accomplished by the will power which surpasses the force of nature. But it is hard to accomplish by any man, and it's even harder to maintain it in a long run. That's why with the lack of any greater goal in life, most of the men fail and those same men are responsible for the decline of this society that is evident today. Men need to control their innate nature first, in order to control nature around them.

Conclusion: Only men have direct power over the world to shape it and only men can be held accountable. Thus, it's men's fault and only men can fix it. Today's men need to man up and take responsibility to collectively build themselves up by hardship of self-control, self-awareness and to bring more light in this civilization. Women's character will be bound to match the level that men collectively desire. That's one civilized way to fix the issue. The other way is moral degradation of the society and letting natural selection take over. That will lead society to follow survival of the fittest and more suffering. The choice is yours.

My thoughts: As per my opinion, humans don't need biological evolution anymore, as we already are the most powerful living beings in the known universe so far. We need to evolve beyond just physical biology at this point, and for that we need peaceful and stable society. Natural selection will just drag us back in the competitive biological evolution. In this age of safety and peace, men should seek higher wisdom like Lord Ram, Jesus or Buddha. But it's noticeable that with the rise of internet and freedom for women, force of nature is taking over consciousness. Men are getting enslaved by their own desires toward the attractions of this world, and these lost men are getting exploited while creating conditions in society for other men to suffer as well. Majority of men losing their conscience, behaving as per their programmed nature, like animals and are going away from the light of awareness. I see that there is an imbalance for this stable looking civilization, and that need to be addressed. The only hope being if men are able to improve their standards, practice strict self-control collectively and follow monogamous relationships.

This strikes a bit of resemblance from Holy Bible, first Corinthians, Chapter 11 Verse 7, which partly says "Man is the image and glory of God; and woman is the glory of man." I hope men will unite and follow the path of righteousness to reduce the unnecessary suffering to themselves. Spread it with fellow brothers for this to have an impact on our society. To show your support, you can trend #Men_Need_To_Man_Up with #Rashtra4Hindu in social media.

Peace.